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I can see the coffee. I can see the shortcut.

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Have a cup of coffee and a second one, everybody. Sunshine and rain. Keep it going, keep it going. No rain. The climate is officially shifting here in the northeast. Rays. Delightful green grass glistening with dew, not mountain dew. Good morning. And God bless all. Eekshow. Info at eekshow.show. That's where I'm reachable. Eekshow.show is the Instagram. What gets you going in the morning? Energy drinks? Breakfast? Shots of milk. Chocolate milk from a little place locally called Hornstra. It's like a fucking melted fudgical. Just blast that down and fucking get on a boat. Hopefully don't hit any icebergs. No! Coffee is the topic. Eat show. Love coffee. Kids drink coffee. Their orders are high in sugar. Of course, they're getting the fucking triple Zenti splash of fucking taurine from the fucking Red Bull drink. They don't always drink coffee, they drink these fucking energy drinks that are spiking their blood pressure and their brains are pumping with fucking glycose. Whatever the fucking sugar's called. Sucrose. There's all kinds of it. The real and fake sugar. These kids are fucking walking real life gummy bears. Even if they're fucking drinking a coffee in the morning, they're probably going home or at lunch ripping pixie sticks and zag nuts. No, they wouldn't even know what a zag nut is. But they're ripping fucking those you know, cereal bars that are filled with fucking high fructose corn syrup and fucking Elmer's glue in there to fucking make sure the peanut butter chips stick to the fucking oats. Elmer's glue, man. Remember that shit? That little fucking kind of melted cow face on the fucking label? Elmer's glue. Paste? I'm gonna smell a paste. I know in the Adam Sandler movie there, right? Billy Madison. He's fucking they're putting paste all over their face, and Billy's just eating it out of the fucking big tub with his f little one of those tongue scrapers. Fucking hilarious. Does smell nice though, doesn't it? So coffee, the experience, the orders, the prices. Oh wow. Starbucks, yeah. Can I get a uh which is small? The smallest tall. You got tall, grande vente. At Dunkin' Donuts, you got small, medium, large, extra large. You got the extra, extra, extra. It's like fucking lingo. Right? What's a tall, it's a pretty small cup of coffee at Starbucks. You get a small, any decorated style kind of culotta, latte, espresso, double, triple, quad. I want to meet someone who fucking starts their day with a quad espresso. Four fucking shots. Yeah, give me the quad expresso. I had a fucking late one last night. My dad ordering a coffee. My dad drank cappuccino. He made it out of those little tin fucking cups. They were like these little tin dishes. I I can't think of the name of the brand. But imagine like a Swiss Miss style brand. He used to love the metal fucking containers that the sugary powdered coffee came in. So it's instant cappuccino and it has a tint of orange in it. Dude, it probably was fucking coffee powder with tang mixed. You know what? That might have been it. Remember Tang? Not it's Tang backwards. You might have a Tang coffee powder mix in one of those metal tins. My dad used to drink that. Of course. The most un that's probably the most unhealthy coffee you could find in a store. I can't even imagine if they still exist. They might though. But of course he would buy that as well to collect the fucking metal tins that fucking clogged up the cabinets. Hey, we got some new pans. We're gonna put them in the cabinet. Ah Dad, Dad, can you get the pan from the cabinet? He's gotta grummage through his fucking metal cappuccino tins to find a fucking pan to make fucking spaghetti. Sketty cat! Spaghetti meatballs! Classic! Pate's baroni! That little fucking painting you see on everybody's home that's trying to be like uh slightly fucking sophisticated. Pate's baroni chasing his fucking delicious meatball, huh? Meatballs are fantastic. Put a little fucking lamb, pork, and fucking beef. So coffees are uh expensive, right? You get the tall, and if it's anything sort of outside of just a normal coffee, it's like five or six bucks for a tall. I mean, nobody's drinking the size of tall at home. It's just not enough. It's too small. You get it at fucking Starbucks, and it's you know, they're making their coffee with some sort of fucking Colombian mud. The stuff is fucking dark. Even their light is dark. So, Grande, well, you're pushing six to eight, you know, seven, and then vente, it's gotta be fucking nine bucks. If you get like a vente with, yeah, can I get a vente with a splash of coconut milk? Um, the drizzle, give me two extra shot turbo shots, and a splash of regular cream, and then uh a twist of half and half. Oh yeah, can I get the uh the long straw? It's like, dude, you just fucking organized how you're gonna build a home to order your coffee. Yeah, can I get a uh medium regular with a splash of cream? Boom. Can I get a medium, can I get a grande with room and one sugar? You get people in there that get like seven to nine Splendas in a coffee. I've heard that order. Splenda is some sort of like, you know, it's some sort of talcum powder that's sweetened from the fucking mountains of the Himalayas, and that shit's you you're putting fucking nine packs of that in your body each morning with your coffee? Jesus. Might as well just do fucking cocaine after that. Jesus. I can blow a couple lines, drink fucking a splend a nine splendid coffee and fucking go on a fucking amusement park ride. Yeah, coffee's an experience, right? It's the uh the aura, the setting. People like to drink coffee and smoke butts. Smoking butts, everybody who's older knows that. Smoking a cigarette, smoking a fucking what do they call it a Jesus, I can't remember the old name. What do they call it? Smoking a wig stick? Have you heard that one? Maybe that's just mine. Maybe that's just my one, or the one I called it. When I was fucking young and tried smoking for the first time. I used to s roll up roll pine needles up and fucking toilet paper real tight and fucking light them act like I fucking smoking them. Blast. What do you got there, little fucking pine needle fucking spliff? It's an experience. Coffee runs the world. I wouldn't mind over owning a coffee joint. You know you got that fucking rolling for sure. You got that shit rolling for sure. Coffee spliff, kid. That's how it goes in the old city. The old man. Deep river. My heart's over, Jordan. I've used that song before. I think coffee in the morning is such a necessity that it comes from maybe routine more than it is even that you absolutely need it to sort of function. The caffeine sort of fix or that little high it gives you is real. But it's also the taste. It's most people drink it warm, they'll drink it cold or iced in the summer. I can't believe that kids are drinking coffee. I just heard this morning that one of my daughter's friends gets a triple espresso in the morning. I'm gonna fucking encourage you to get the quad so I can say that I know someone who gets it. I'm teasing, of course. I don't think high schoolers should be getting espresso, let alone triple espresso, let alone already addicted to coffee. But I did bring up earlier on another episode that they're ripping these energy drinks. I don't know. Who out there is drinking something different than coffee in the morning? Do you drink fucking orange juice or cranberry juice? Fucking grapefruit juice just straight? Fucking prune juice? That'll hollow you out. You'll be spitting in the fucking porcelain by the afternoon. Maybe even buy it within an hour. A little fucking prune juice will fucking clean that fucking esophagus right out. A little bran muffin and a fucking glass of prune juice. You better fucking find a fucking outhouse. I knew a guy when I was young, his name was Whitehouse, we called him outhouse. It's not a good nickname, right? Oh, it comes outhouse. Like, dude, we're we're associating you with an outdoor bathroom that's never clean, that's just disgustingly. I mean, for guys, at least you'll do it because you'll you'll piss in there. But girls gotta sit down. It's like, I mean, they're sitting down on a fucking toxic throne if they go to a porter party. Normally it's it's just as if someone went in there and just spray paid in with a fucking brown toes. You know what I mean? It just doesn't even seem humanly possible what goes on in those porter parties. Certainly not drinking coffee in a porter party, I'll tell you that. You know the basics. Coffee is a morning ritual. They're drinking coffee all over the world. You've got the classy people that you know have the tiny cappuccinos or over in France, uh Italy, they they sit down with those tiny little cups and they have like a little tiny meringue cookie or a fucking you get the slice of the fucking lemon. Maybe I don't really know that experience. Maybe you're supposed to like rub the top of the sipping, like the border of the cup with the lemon to sort of clean it. I don't know. Maybe it's like sanitized experience with the coffee. Coffee's a uh quite a trip, I'll tell you that. For me, I know I'm fucking guzzling a tall, yeti-filled, homemade coffee, anything medium, anything Colombian. Love fucking Colombian ever since I saw fucking Scarface. I'm like, that's that's who I'd be if I was a fucking escapee from a different country. You know, I was I found my way in here as a refugee or or, you know, an escaped convict. Whatever you want to say. You know, I'm a um illegal alien from another country and I'm in the United States. Tony Montana is who I want to be. I want to wear white suits, I want to fucking sell massive amounts of fucking cocaine, and I want to drink Colombian coffee. Tell of my little friend! But I like a big tall yeti. Some milk. Classic, maybe, you know, low fat. 1%, 2%. I know we should be drinking skim milk. Fucking mix. Skim backwards. I like some sugar, maybe one of those um sugary syrups, but not a lot. Maybe a splash, a couple splashes. The uh the Chobonny fucking creamer? Little fucking Chobonny? Chobonnie's a fucking DJ name. Here he is! DJ Chobonnie. Fucking jamming. Enjoy your coffees in Eekshow Land. E K S H O W dot show. That's where you can find me. On Instagram. Info at eekshow.show is the email. In the last week or yesterday, all of time. You know what I saw? I saw somebody go into a convenience store and steal a bottle of water. I saw them steal it. They literally grab the water of bottle, the water of bottle. Okay, now I'm a mute. I saw this grown adult take a large bottle of smart water and fucking kind of monkey paw it down by his left eye. He walked out with it. Now, this isn't one of those places where you get the free water if you get more than 10 gallons of gas. Plus, it's just you're getting the 16-ounce small pollen spring or oh bless you. I saw someone sneeze. How bless you! I used to work with someone, he'd fart. He'd be like, he'd be farting in the office, and every time he'd be like, How bless you! And he'd fucking fart and he'd bless himself. The guy stole the fucking bottle of water. You can't be stealing shit in in general at all. Including fart spray when I was fucking 13, 14 years old. Or maybe it was 12. I was still in middle school, so 12, I don't know, fucking 11. Oh, Edelman! I didn't say 12 for Brady. Oh, there it is! Go Pats. Enjoy your coffees. Don't steal water from fucking convenience stores or those little fucking mini marts at gas stations. Look at this fucking shitbox car. What are those little shit cars called? Those fucking mini mini coopers. Fucking sucks ass. That thing would be flipped over in a second. You could take a fucking spatula, fucking flip it over on its side like a fucking over easy egg. Have an excellent week. Enjoy the climate change. Always have your fix in the morning the way you like it. Enjoy your coffees from wherever you get it. Each show. I'll talk to you soon.