It's the eight show. It's the egg show. Oh, it's the egg show, and everybody's happy it's playing again. Find a friend, put some headphones on, and listen to the very end. Oh, when you're laughing, don't you dare stop! Why don't you have some soda pop and enjoy a new episode of Fake Show? Tot Show! InfoWit Eat Show dot show. How's everybody doing in fucking eat show fucking society planet worldwide? Yo, Mr. Worldwide. Fucking pit bull? What a rendition that was, fucking pit bull! I call myself fucking sheepdog. And here he is, Eek Show's new fucking hip-hop dance music sound, fucking sheepdog. Fucking dumb. Very dumb. Welcome to the Eek Show. How's everybody doing out there? Have you watched any new fucking documentaries or fucking knowledgeable fucking scientific shows? Where you learn about how to fucking eat a snail if you're fucking lost in the woods? Fucking little S-Car go. You swallow it and your fucking mouth closes up and you have a fucking toxic seizure, and although you may have a little protein because you ate a fucking snail, now you're fucking withering away in the woods, and nobody's gonna find you. Cause you thought you could eat a fucking diseased fucking snail. Nice work. Maybe you shouldn't have fucking read that book. Maybe you should have watched Into the Wild! Where fucking Supertramp chugs his way across the country to fucking Alaska and then eats some fucking bad seeds. Fucking dies on the magic bus. Nice work, Supertramp. If you wanna explore, don't eat fucking random seeds off trees. Have you watched any documentaries lately? Have you watched any past documentaries? Fucking just unreal ones like the uh the jinx. That one was fucking unbelievable on HBO or the staircase? No! Fucking guy's wife is fucking completely bludgeoned at the bottom of a staircase, and he's like I uh I didn't do anything. Yeah, I'm sure you did. Fucking she just fell down the stairs and looked like she was fucking putting a fucking washing machine with a bunch of fucking nails. Jesus Christ. Sorry, dude. I'm not buying it. You lied about everything else. You fucking lied about being a fucking gay lover. I mean, the most obvious explanation is usually the answer to everything, isn't it? I mean, they make documentaries about all this stuff, which is interesting because it's people that fucking sell out and want everybody to know about their personal business because they can make money on it, right? Because it's crazy. Everybody right now listening has a fucking insane crazy story, but you probably don't want everybody to know about it. I wanted everybody to know about my fucking my dad because he's fucking a hilarious fucking specimen of fucking devilish proportions. I almost just ran into a jogger because she's fucking in the middle of the road. Nice job! Glad you were wearing pink, or I would have fucking turned you into a fucking natural pancake. And then added fucking blueberries. But of course I fucking dodged her. No problem. A fucking goddamn fucking Indie 500 driver when I wanna be! This is fucking Eekshow 500! And I'm out front by miles. Not laps, miles! Everybody's like, oh, Eekshow's gonna win another one! Another Indy 500 that they changing the name to the Eekshow 500! Kai's fucking fast, man! I tell ya, ever since the show became fucking worldwide! There he is again, man! Fucking sheepdog! Pitbull inspired him. Fucking pit bull probably would eat sheepdog, wouldn't he? In real life. Fucking pit bull. Pit him! He's super nice, yeah? He won't hurt anybody, you know? He's a rescue and he's he's just a loving dog. I love all dogs, and I bet you there's pit bulls that are nice. Okay? Yeah, just give him a pet. He's he's beautiful, he won't hurt anybody. Well, what's that small fucking piece of fucking human meat and his fucking teeth hanging out? That looks like a fucking foot. Yeah, well, that guy tried to, you know, touch his tail. Okay, move on. Don't make eye contact. Documentaries are all over the place, and there's a new one out about the Concordia. GLO fucking island near Italy, off Italy. It's an Italian island. GLO! Not fucking JLo, huh? Big fucking booty ass shaking all over the place, and uh I remember any of her songs, to be honest. Fucking J-Lo! Not J-Lo, fucking G Lo, Italian island! The Concordia fucking captain speeding along with a bunch of his fucking crews, passengers. It's like this elaborately fucking built boat with everything you could possibly want. Families, couples, girls, guys, kids, all kinds of fucking people celebrating shit, 50th birthdays, fucking mom and daughter celebrations, first vacations ever. One of the families had never been on a goddamn trip and they took their fucking 14-month-old baby. And the fucking captain's like, we're gonna speed up and fucking I wanna do a fucking flyby like in Top Gun. Uh, this is Maverick requesting flyby. Uh, that is a negative, the pattern is full. Don't do it! You saw it in Top Gun, don't go by the fucking tower! Put that fucking slideby stunt! You'll be flying fucking rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong! Fucking bald guy, that actor. Oh, what a line. The Concordia captain's like, can we do a fucking drive-by in fucking Gilo, Italian Island? And he just keeps speeding up, getting closer and closer to the shore. And there's a guy on the boat that's like, dude, you gotta run the cruise. Fucking, you're gonna run it up on a rock. You're gonna fucking ground it. Everybody on the boat is like, of course, knows the Titanic story. They're they're talking about the fucking Titanic story before they're on the goddamn cruise. Because who wouldn't? Anytime you go on a plane, you think it might blow up. You know, I'm not actively gonna think I am gonna blow up, but you think about it. If something rumbles, you're like, okay, please don't fucking fall out of the sky. Don't crash. Don't give me a drunk pilot that's gonna fucking have to invert the plane to land it like fucking Denzel. Ho ho! He's fucking ripping fucking vodka fucking nips, and the guy's fucking flies the shit upside down to save his passengers. But the guy was drunk anyways, so who's in the right? I mean the flight was potentially gonna fucking crash, but he's a fucking drunk pilot and goes upside down. I don't want either of those circumstances. The Concordia fucking cruise, okay? Just a beautiful fucking giant top-of-the-line cruise. Needs to fucking do a drive-by on fucking G G Lo Island out in the fucking Terranian Sea, I think it's called. Just so the fucking captain or his family can see the fucking, those people can see him fucking drive by the island. I'm sure they just saw you before you fucking got on the boat, or at least in the last month. Guy fucking runs the thing aground and tears a hole in the fucking middle of the boat. He tears a fucking hole in the middle of the boat, and the shit starts immediately filling in the hull. Right in the middle. Take it on water. Unreal, man. Shit's fucking taking on water. Unreal. What's going on here? You guys waved me on, yick. Yeah, I know. I got the sticker, man. I spent fucking 400 bucks for it. Thanks for letting me go, fucking donkey looking spenders fucking bitch ass. So classic fucking glorious cruise out on the fucking water. Everybody's excited. Their first night, the sun's setting. It's Friday the 13th, by the way! Is that a Kuinky dank? Or is that fucking Jason roaming with his dangerous fucking link? Vohe's as fucking always a suspect when this shit happens. Who knows if he was down there with his machete slicing a big fucking hole in that cruise? R.I.P. Everybody who lost their lives in that situation, by the way. You're gonna watch the dock. This is not me telling you about something that you can't watch on your own that's gonna be interesting. I'm trying to make it fucking funny. The funny thing about it is, imagine this fucking douche rocket captain. You know, do a fucking drive-by. Like I'm on a jet ski and I want to wave at a hot girl that's sitting on the beach. That's like fucking a half mile off coast and isn't gonna see you anyways! Other than the big fucking lights of your fucking big giant ship as twilight sets in and fucking the Italian islands! G Lo! Not J Lo. I literally can't think of any of her fucking songs right now. I want to, but I can't. She had a couple earlier. Waiting for tonight! Oh! Is your cruise ship gonna hit a fucking rock? Waiting for tonight! G-Lo! Not J Lo. Fucking G-Lo Island, the Concordia fucking unbelievable cruise ship. Smashes the rock, it starts fucking immediately taking on water, like the Titanic, minus the fucking iceberg. And it's a fucking pandemonium. And for the first hour, the entire crew and fucking executive team and the captain, as much as they know they fucked up. It's the captain who fucked up. He's the final call. But someone could have got up and said, no, we can't do this. Someone jumps off a bridge. Certainly sometimes people try to stop them. And these are fucking strangers at times that are involved. This is goddamn fucking crew. You got a crew of like fucking 400 people. You had 180 chefs. I want 180 chefs to make my dinner tonight. In my home. All 180 of them. I want fucking 35 courses. And I want him to start with fucking G Lo. Not G-Lo, the island, G Lo Jello. Fucking some sort of delicious orange fucking flavor. And I want him wearing Syracuse fucking McNamara jerseys! Fucking Jerry Mack! G-Mack! I hope he fucking brings the Qs back to the tournament this year. Love you, G-Mack! If you're out there and you listen to the Eek Show, I love fucking scrinton and I love fucking Qs. So I love you. Make it happen, brother. The boat's fucking taking on water, tilting fucking sideways, people are scrambling, they're hearing on the loudspeaker. Uh everything is going to be okay. Everybody, go back to your rooms. Go back to your room. Um, excuse me, sir. Fucking guy in the back shown raises his hand. He's got an eek show fucking shirt on with the red mic. And on the back, it's like fucking laugh, fucking cry hide. Everybody's been fucking asking for his autograph. The guy doesn't even work for the eek show. Like, where'd you get that shirt, man? It's a fucking relic. It's like, yeah, I I I actually know the owner, man. He's a fucking private person. I had to have him specially paint this shirt for me. He did it in fucking like a color by number paint fucking set. Couldn't stay in the lines though. Fucking favorite shirt I own. So get the fuck away from me. I don't want you to dirty your fucking rat fucking dirty fingers. No! Eeksho's raising his hand, or the eekshow shirt guy is raising his hand, like, um, I know you told us go back to your rooms, but uh the ship's been tilting and I'm having trouble fucking walking in a straight line and we're in the fucking ocean! I think I should go down and try to fucking swim or catch a lifeboat to safety. I never heard anything about the water. I know it was cold. It was January 13th. Friday the 13th! Again, Jason, he's somewhere involved in this! Whether he's fucking under the water, fucking with the chain around his head, someone fucking blocked him down there, he's in the sky, he's in the woods. It can't be a coincidence it happened on Friday the 13th. It can't be. 34 fucking people died, man, because of some jackass fucking captain that just wanted to do a drive-by. Fucking insane, man. And insane. You fucking imagine the people eating their late dinner. The couple talked about they were going up to see the fucking sunset and it was beautiful out, and they hear this large bang and then this screeching that's ripping the fucking bottom of the boat open. I assure you, I assure you, she's made of iron. She'll sink. It's fucking Titanic 2 electric bugaloo out in fucking the Italian sea. Imagine how fucking crazy scared you'd be, man. Nobody on that fucking boat wasn't shitting bricks. Maybe they don't show it, but they are, man. They are shitting fucking bricks. You know what? I'm gonna make a fucking laugh. Oh, they got the T's, Kat? They got the T's out there! Fucking range just draw Eekshow fucking Jeep drive by. They're like, oh shit, man, it comes fucking laser show. Eekshow fucking dropping lasers with all of his clubs. Fucking just a practice session. Oh, a couple Clydesdales. I might jump on one of those backs and fucking ride into the woods and fucking chip out. No problem for the fucking spot I find between the fucking trees. Documentaries, man, they're always a lot of fun to watch. Always a lot of fun to watch. You learn about things that you hear about. It's usually disastrous, right? Fucking negative shit sells. Everybody wants to see it, right? Put a fucking dead carcass on the side of the road. Everybody looks like, oh god, I don't wanna see that, but you look. You fucking look. You see any flies on the head? You know, you shouldn't look, but you look. You don't want anybody animal or fucking, you know, deer. You don't want to see them get hit by cars. I mean, sure, if you got a fucking bowl of venison soup in front of you with some fucking delicious bread and a pad of butter and some salt and pepper and a delicious fucking iced tea, okay. Maybe a crack of smile. Start fucking ladling fucking venison soup into your gullet. You don't want to see the deer fucking on the road, fucking slaughtered by some fucking minivan. But put it in a dock, a documentary, fucking everybody watches it. Yeah, that's uh his family somehow was in a helicopter and they crashed into the side of the mountain, but the one guy lived, and now he's like he's just half a body, and he he he gets around by using a skateboard. Half of his body is on the skateboard, and he uses his arms to pedal along, and he built a fucking extra skateboard behind him to fucking be able to transport groceries when he shops. Everybody's like, oh my god, what a horrible disaster. He lost his whole family. You know, I don't want to see that. You know, it's just terrible. The documentary comes out, fucking millions of people watch it. See that talk about the uh helicopter there that crashed into the fucking big mountain rock? The guy lived, he's a half-body. They called him fucking half a half a fucking Nelson? The guy's real name is fucking Nelson, his last name? Yeah, man, they call him fucking half Nelson. Isn't that a fucking wrestling move, man? I think it is, man. Check out the doctor, man. It's fucking wild. Fucking Concordia on Friday the 13th, 20 fucking 12, I believe. Check it out. Good doc. Zuckerberg's gonna come out with a documentary about his fucking he's trying to make elite fucking meat! Another rhyme, uh Grab a seat and fucking order some elite meat. Macadamia meal and beer fed fucking cattle. He's feeding fucking cows in fucking Hawaii. Macadamia meal, which is sort of a I assume ground up macadamia nuts with fucking whatever fucking type of cornmeal or fucking veggie meal, fucking cows eat. And fucking beer! He's fucking giving his fucking cows fucking IPAs and fucking macadamia fucking high-end cornmeal. Cows are fucking loving it. They're fucking hanging out, ripping fucking seven-point fucking alcohol content, fucking IPAs and tasty fucking macadamia nut fucking pie mix. Cows are just mooing to each other. You know what I mean? Like, oh shit. They don't realize they're just getting fucking plumped up like Anselin Gretel. To be fucking cooked, to be slaughtered and then fucking cooked up into a delicious fucking high-end wagyu meat. Zuckerberg's gonna be fucking coming out with a documentary that has nothing to do with technology! It's gonna be fucking elite meat to eat! Fucking Pete! Crazy shit. There'll be a documentary about that, no doubt. How about a documentary about leaving Earth and going to fucking the new fucking planet? I think it's called fucking JG3378B. It might be GJ3378B. 25 light years away from Earth. They found a fucking habitable or habitable planet. I guess searching for fucking aliens or fucking space fucking shit. They found a goddamn fucking another planet they want us to fucking go to and live there, but because it's habitable, not fucking the red planet where we're gonna get fucking disintegrated or fucking the moon where we've supposedly already been. Ha ha okay, yep. We've been to the moon, yeah. Just didn't want to go back since fucking the late 60s. I get it, yeah. Everything else we do, we fucking try to better it immediately within a year or a month or fucking five years. Yeah. It's only been fucking, I don't know, what, 50s almost 50, 60 years? Yeah, 57 years since we've been fucking back to walk on the moon. Okay. Yep. Believable to me. I'm not saying we didn't do it, but I'm not saying we did. I'm not fucking out here scientifically touting that we actually fucking have done things that we see on TV and medialize. No, medialize. That's gotta be a fucking fake word that Eek Show just made up. Eek Show dictionary. You know the fucking shit! Drag it out. S H U U T A A Y Y A A P. SHIT! Yank it just and then there's a distinction of slang. B you add a fucking B and drop the S H. The Concordia fucking disaster documentary. Worth fucking watching. Absolutely worth watching. Zuckerberg's fucking elite meat documentary. That's coming soon, so keep an eye out. The fucking brand new fucking habitable planet. Habitable, however you fucking pronounce it. I'm not here to fucking teach people pronunciations and fucking, you know, vernacular of the fucking English language. That's not the podcast. Fucking documentaries, man, fucking blow your mind sometimes. You're like, how the fuck did this happen? Hey, the guy just wanted to take his fucking cruise ship so his fucking cousins and sister-in-law could see him. See the big lights in the boat going by. Yeah. I'm sure they haven't seen him on his fucking cruise. His entire fucking career. 34 innocent fucking victims that would just fucking trying to fucking win on the fucking slots or eat fucking hamburgers after dinner at the all-you-can-eat 24-hour fucking food stop. I'd be there all 24 hours if I was on a cruise. Ikshow, you got- we gotta get off! Just hit a rock! We gotta fucking swim to G Lo Island! Yeah, I'll be fine. Yeah, I gotta get a few more hamburgers and some pizza. You know, until the boat's like fully perpendicular and I gotta cook and climb to the other side of the boat to be able to do at least a five and a half fucking pike, you know, perfect dive off the side of it into the fucking Terranian Sea. You're just gonna keep eating fucking more pizza and hamburgers, man. Shit's fucking going down like water. Come on, you show! We need you, man! We need your help! Alright. Let me just get a fucking to-go bag. Of course I still pull the fucking five and a half. Reversed it. My fucking it's like the inward, you jump off forward and you flip fucking inward. Perfect fucking tuck. People are fucking scared to death because people are fucking drowning and you know, stuck and dying and just going crazy, but there's still enough people that are like, whoa, man, did you see the Eek Show fucking pull his inverted five and a half off the Concordia? I wonder if they'll put that in the dock. This is the Eek Show. Hope you're enjoying these episodes. The one thing, watch more documentaries, man. There's a ton of them out there. You'll learn a lot of shit. Watch the fucking Bee Gees documentary. Watch the fucking Bee Gees documentary. That is a really good one, man. Random shit, right? Why would you watch that? Cause the fucking Eek Show told you to. Check out the Concordia doc. Watch the staircase. Fucking the jinx. Those are fucking crazy kind of murder mystery, but you know, figuring out the case and why the person's not guilty, which of course they're all guilty always. Everybody who's not guilty is fucking guilty. Let's say 98% of the time, right? OJ, guilty! You know? It was like the biggest evidence that came out of that fucking shit in the first fucking like hour. They did our first fucking 24 hours. They did a fucking DNA test and it was like one in 250 million to one, or one to 250 million to one. The odds were that it was the same DNA as OJ. You know, the blood, too, not his fucking semen. Hmm, I wonder why there was blood at the scene after fucking, you know, two people just got murdered. And OJ wasn't there. Give me a fucking break. This is the Eek Show. I'll talk to you soon.