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It's the eating show. If you had a podcast and you were putting together season one, organizing, orchestrating all your important topics, episodes that made people laugh, made people think about things that they don't always think about, or that they do always see and think about. You tried to walk that line between the unknown and the known. The funny and the peculiar. All wrapped up in one giant little fucking package that you put under the tree for the young children to open on Christmas Eve. Don't even wait till Christmas. Open it that fucking night. The lights are still on, it's still dark. Presents under a glowing fucking tree that looks a whole lot different when it's dark outside. If you were the owner and fucking creator of that podcast, what's the one unknown peculiar topic that you know would set all your listeners into explosive parasitic laughter? I thought and thought about this idea for the last fucking week or so. And then I thought there's a line! There's a big black line right in front of me that most human beings would not even dare to cross. But this is the Eek Show! This is not some fucking come listen to how we make trees and fucking plant them in gardens. Are you looking for a a brand new way to make fucking beer or coffee? This isn't those fucking ragamuffin thousand times a week donkey day ideas! This is eek show. This is like finding your way to fucking Pluto in a fucking inflatable portable raft. This is peculiar, the unknown, the fucking brand new. And over that entire week of time I thought to myself, do I step over that line or do I just fucking leap and jump right over it? Do I jump over that line with a perfect dismount? One of the longest jumps anybody's ever seen on planet Earth! Fucking Ekshow's jump man is Olympic standards! It was like the triple jump of the long jump all together in one. Look at this fucking douche rocket. Thanks, man. Thanks, Key West. Nice glasses and hat. Fucking ass face. Oh fucking fro kid. Did you see his fucking Olympic jump? It was like the it's some sort of hopscotch move, but it was also like just epic. God fucking flew through the air, man, right over that black line that nobody dares to cross. You know about two words, but do you know about them when you put them together? You know about the word cyclone or cyclo, and you know about the word spore. Fucking some sort of fungus, bacteria, virus, spore, spores. Spores can grow on fucking toenails or fucking mushrooms. They grow. They grow where you don't want them to grow. This is a four-minute intro into this fucking episode. Tell me that isn't fucking all time! Cyclospora! The explosive diarrhea disease ripping through the country right now. Thirty-four states are fucking shitting themselves! Blasting fucking toilet bowls around the regions of every last city in those states. And now fucking Taco Bell, lab OCAT, backwards, is also saying they've got an outbreak! No shit! Fucking Taco Bell is calling f causing fucking diarrhea? Really? That's fucking news? I found a fucking human teeth filling in my fucking taco when I was a child. You eat Taco Bell, you feel sick! I applaud you, Taco Bell. People love ya. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your food, but the fact that it might give you diarrhea or is giving you diarrhea, that's not news. That is not news. That's fucking like the back of my hand. When you jump in the ocean, do you get wet? Yeah, you get wet. When you eat Taco Bell, you're probably gonna get diarrhea. You're gonna get cyclospora. Cyclospora is some sort of fucking explosive bacteria ripping through guts on this beautiful fucking planet we call Earth. It's a national fucking pandemic epidemic growing with each fucking raspberry head of lettuce and fucking basil leaf you eat. By the way, when is it when is diarrhea not explosive? Yo, each show, man. I've been fucking sick. Yeah, I just really fucking lost a ton of weight. I've been going to the bathroom, but it's been really fucking just calm sessions, you know. I've been having to walk to the bathroom because I have to go to the bathroom. I've had diarrhea, but it's been just a fluid calm experience, you know? There's no splash back or fucking pops. It's just fucking relaxed. It's like a fucking laxative style fucking release of air. Who the fuck has ever described diarrhea as non-explosive? Have you ever had non-explosive diarrhea? That's probably the better question. Everybody out there listening to this has had diarrhea. You know what I mean? Like you can try to fucking hide that you don't have it right now, you Taco Bell loving bitch! But everybody's had it. Everybody's gone through half a fucking roll of toilet paper to fucking wash up after a fucking planet blastoid session. You have asteroids? No, my dad does though sometimes. So bad certain days he can't even sit on the toilet. So what do you do out here? You got a stack of nudie books this high. Fucking classic again. Oh every every time, every sip that hits the spot bolder than the last. I'm never not gonna involve that. Some people fucking sip, but there's others that just fucking turn it into an art form. Cyclospora! You got a fucking hurricane, a fucking shit virus growing inside you, and it wants out. It wants out. It's fucking bad, man. It's disgusting, and it's exactly why I triple and long jump right over that line. It's literally fucking spreading across the country. We got fucking smoke-filled Canadian fucking air, hundred degree days, zero fucking hydration or water. It's rained, honestly, it's rained maybe twice I can think of this summer in the northeast, which is fucking strange, because we just had a fucking bombastic winter. Bombiogenesis. Yo man, have you ever had fucking diarrhea? Not only did I have cyclospora, but I had a bombiogenesis, cyclosporic event. That's when you fucking have three toilets in your home and you blast all fucking three of them in one session. You can't stop and you fill all three of them. Fucking Christ. You gotta get a goddamn fucking sewage guy that comes to fucking empty your title fucking nine outdoor sewage septic to come in and fucking suck out all three toilets. Bombiogenesis cyclosporic event. That's the fucking line I just triple long jumped across. I hope any everybody listening has not gotten this fucking rotten fucking disease or virus or fucking you know, 48-hour fucking shit stew, they call it. I don't know what the hell's going on. I can tell you, I'm very transparent, as you can tell. I don't know if you've noticed that, but I'm gonna fucking tell it like it is and gotta fucking bring some fucking laughter to it if I can. It might be fucking, you know, you're holding your breath and fucking gasping, like, oh my god, I can't believe each show would do a podcast episode about fucking diarrhea. You're right, man. Turn on the fucking how to grow trees and build a fucking doghouse fucking podcast channel. The afterlife. Turn that one on. That'll fucking set you straight going into the weekend. Why'd all those people fucking drive off a cliff, man? They never listened to the Eek Show, man. They didn't have any fucking bizarre laughter in their life. Oh, there's a guy right next to me passed out dead asleep in his car in fucking market basket, and he's got the window cracked. My guess is he's fucking hung over. Or or he might be drunk from last night and he's just sleeping in his car. I wonder if he has fucking cyclospora. He's fucking soiled himself right into his seat. That's why he cracked the window. His fucking little shit fucking Honda Cruz is filled with fucking shit dung. I wish I could put a photo of this one. I might put this fucking image. A guy passed out in the car. Oh, he he just moved. He just moved. I wonder if he's been listening to the entire diary episode. It's the Eek Show, brother. It's a fucking national fucking hit spreading like the fucking Canadian wildfires. Why don't you go suck in some of the smoke, you fucking cyclosporic fucking bitch? It's crazy that you get it from eating fucking berries and fucking like herbs. You know, you think you'd get it from all the shit things you eat. Cheese and fucking whole milk, butter. Fucking probably eggs makes sense, right? Just fat, fatty shit, you know, fucking cured fucking shit meats, deli meat when they had that big boar's head outbreak. Remember that one? That was like Salmonella outbreak. Cyclosporic? No, this one's a fucking uh hurricane shitsw mockick. The hurricane shits do mock? Did you just make that one up, Eekshaw man? I haven't had the hurricane shitsu mockick. Yeah, you're right, man. I've never heard of that one. You know what's funny is the makeup place, Sephora, sounds kind of like Cyclospora. Imagine someone has Cyclospora at Sephora. They're putting on fucking eye makeup or fucking lipstick and shitting themselves. Someone's like, oh man, what's that? A new fucking is that a new brown shade for fucking like under your eyes? No man, don't don't try that one. That's the fucking cyclospora fucking droppings. But the fucking girl is she can't hear well, so she stuck starts fucking smearing fucking dung underneath her eyes. This fucking shit smells, man. Cyclospora at Sephora. Yo, did you fucking talk to Dora? I did. She's been sick. She got a fucking she had a rotten bout of Cyclospora at Sephora. She had to fucking run out the Dora and take a shit in the outhouse. They got outhouses down by Sephora? They don't. They don't have those. They should have them with this fucking rat fucking rat lung fucking shit bomb disease going around. Start installing fucking porta potties just every fucking hundred yards. You know those things would never be cleaned for the fucking next century. Hundred years from now, like, what have we spent all the money on, man? We're still cleaning those fucking port-potties from fucking cyclospora back in 2026. How's Dora doing? Yeah. She doesn't she she doesn't want to go to Sephora anymore. Oh man. I don't even know anybody named Dora. Except the Explorer. Oh! Swiper no swiping. You just fucking wipe her no wiping. You gotta be able to wipe when you got fucking psychospora. Dora's like, wipe eye, yes, wiping. I got fucking psychospora at Sephora. Because I went to explore. I had to run out the Dora. There's just nothing we're safe from anymore. I mean, that's the episode. The reason I made this is such a fucking stupid episode about fucking something that nobody would ever talk about in a podcast. I'm pretty certain. You know, and I'm not pretty, I could put a stamp on it, you know, and I'm not trying to be gross, I'm trying to be fucking funny, and I think it's, you know, I don't want anybody to get sick or get hurt, but it's funny, man. It is. When your headlines are fucking explosive diarrhea blasting across the land, you know, and then they have a deep explanation of it with like full indentations and fucking bolded letters, like, yo, man, what are you doing for your Korea these days, man? Oh, they got me fucking writing about the uh the explosive diarrhea disease and all the fucking major fucking internet news fucking pages. Yeah, man, how's that gonna feel? You know, I'm fucking writing about shit and fucking what causes it and how your fucking bowel fucking doesn't have enough time to fucking breathe, so it's got too much gas and fucking undigestible fucking shit going on in your fucking human body that there's a lot of detailed steps as to what's happening and how it comes out, and that's what I write about, man. Yeah, man, that sounds fucking tough. You like it? No, I don't like it. I really don't. You know, you go to the fucking high school, like your kids play sports, you go to the high school, like end of the year award ceremony, and you you you meet some of those parents you don't fucking know. You talk to and wave high, but you don't give a shit. You see people sometimes that you like, but most of the people you like, oh there's fucking Chucky, he's a fucking bird brain. Hey, oh my god, Lays stay golden, pony boy. Fucking the outsiders have fucking taken over Lay's. Stay golden. Pony, pony bitch, if you're out there and you're listening, I just saw a fucking truck with your goddamn motto on it. You should be wearing fucking Lay's t-shirts now every fucking day. Whatever it is you do for work, I know what you do for work and your architecture and business management, project management, all that fucking combined into one blob inside your stomach that cyclospore is ready to blast out. You're fucking, you're driving fucking Lay's trucks now. Stay golden, pony. You're at this fucking award sermon at the end of the year. But you know, it's fucking, we'll just talk it, but we'll say it's fucking girl soccer, because I can relate. Parents are like talking to each other, just small talk. Again. No matter what's sad, you go home and fucking make fun of five or six people there. Or you make fun of everybody. You know, I'm sure they're doing the same about you. Yeah, you see his fucking, he was wearing fucking cargo pleated fucking dress pants, man. I'm teasing, man. I don't fucking care that much about people. Uh but I might make fun of people uh after an event like that. If it's got eek show value, I'm fucking doing it. But everybody's asking, like, oh man, how you doing this to me? Yeah, yeah, I know. He's been playing a while, you know. What do you do for where? Oh, the fucking guy left. Fucking drunk fucking Honda Cruz, fucking cyclospora, fucking he spit out in his seat and then he peeled out of the fucking parking lot. See you later, fucking shit stained bitch. You know, you ask people, oh yeah, man, you you obviously you're from the same area, from the same city, right? You're at the fucking high school award sports thing. What do you do for a living, man? What do you do for work? Ah, you know, I've been in construction contracting, like repair people's decks. Oh, cool, man. Yeah, how about you, Ikha? What do you do? Uh I fucking um You know, I've been a writer for a long time and they've just put me on this fucking Cyclospora story. Cyclospora, what's that about? Check out my podcast, you'll fucking hear all about it. Yeah, man? What is it? What are you writing about? Well, I guess I could get into it, but you know, I'm not gonna be a bitch ass and talk about work at fucking an event for our daughters. But I did bring you guys all some raspberries and some fucking basil that I got from the store just to, you know, be polite. You know, make some fucking make up some pies and salads for your families. Oh man, that is awful. Snicker on the way out. Going out of the parking lot, people are still there, and I beep anyways, just to let them know. Like, Cyclospora! Read about it. Eekshow.show. That's usually where you can find the uh the the little uh penetrating fucking eye worms to figure out maybe what my episode might be about. They're usually coming out early part of the week before fucking Friday's fucking Bombiogenesis cyclospora event. Eekshow just fucking mouth shits all over the fucking mic. Info at eekshow.show, that's where you can fucking check in and tell me how many bouts of fucking cyclospora you've already had. Please don't do that if you have had it. I hope everybody out there has not gotten cyclospora, and I hope everybody out there has not ever put shit under their fucking eyes thinking it's makeup. Please. I don't know how that would ever happen, but I created A fucking little story where it did. The one thing I would tell you, I don't know if you should eat fast food in general. You know, fast food in general is probably gonna cause cyclospora. Or how about just the word diarrhea, which we've known forever, or fucking loose stool? You want him to sit on the stool? Like the the you know, it looks like it looks like one of those legs is it is loose. Is that what you mean, man? No, man, I mean he's got fucking his shit doesn't have fucking girth or fucking hardness to it. It's loose. Where do you want me to sit? It's fucking stupid. Here's the fucking top guy at Chipotle fucking stacking cardboard in the fucking trash bin all back. I hear you, brother. I did all that shit when I was younger. I've done all the shit jobs, man, every one of them. Lawn mowin, paper boy, cook, line cook, bus boy, waiter, fucking painter, house painter, yard work guy, church lawn mower, bagger, clerk, produce at a fucking grocery store, fucking cut coat knives, fucking vector marketing, fucking all of it. Every shit job you can think of in the fucking world, I've done it. Prior to fucking going to fucking school. Maybe, maybe fucking, yeah, prior to fucking graduating from college. Where I finally got a shit job as an analyst at a fucking engineering naval company and fucking edited fucking GTC turbine manuals for fucking the the armament of putting fucking like bombs on submarines. Naval engineers write these plans, how these bombs and the construction of these bombs, missiles, torpedoes are put on fucking submarines, how they can be constructed and deconstructed, and then I'd fucking edit that shit that they wrote. It was a fucking blast mind-scramble of a roll that sucked ass every day. You know what? I would have rather written fucking articles about cyclosporas spreading across the country. My one thing is, yeah, you you it's a 50-50 proposition when you eat fucking anything fast food, right? Whatever fucking terminology or fucking term you want to call it, you're probably gonna get sick at some point. The Eek Show can see the sky again. I hope you can too. Actually, you know what? I see the Canadian smoke coming in like the fucking fog from Stephen King's fucking old school book. I can see it fucking moving back in to fucking cover our fucking entire area. You just can't get away from anything fucking bad. That's all. Just whether whatever we do, whether we look, breathe, see, eat, think, we're being affected on a on a daily basis. Good luck! Good luck out there. That's my fucking my podcast. Have a great fucking week. Good luck.