SPEAKER_01 0:14

It's the each show. It's the eat show.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

I did it, it did it, it did it, did it, did it. Did it did it? Did it did. I did it. Box! Fucking did it did. Did it it? Ho ho, fucking Kenwood!

SPEAKER_02 1:01

It's a fucking eighties stereo system. My dad had the Cassio fucking headphones and the Kenwood.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

And he is my fucking stereo! He beginning, put the egg trash back in the fucking slides, and don't touch my fucking headphones! You little fucking rent! Dad, dad, I just wanna shut up!

SPEAKER_02 1:29

What's the craziest thing you've ever done in your life? What do you define as crazy? Is crazy fucking egg in somebody's house? Have you done that? I've done that. I have done that. Too many times when I was young to count. Was it the right thing to do? Was it normal thing to do? Was it okay? Probably not. But friends of mine and myself, we chose accordingly. If you were on the egg list, you were not. You were not in the inner circle. Let me just tell you. Eggs were pelting off fucking side shingles and doors. Like you dream about making delicious omelets on fucking sidewalling. It's not that crazy. Kids fucking egg houses. I can honestly say I've had a pumpkin thrown through my mailbox from a moving car that fucking blasted and wrecked the whole thing. And then it happened again at the second house. So my guess is everybody out there hasn't had their mailbox ruined twice by kids. Now, do I think I was targeted? No, I don't. The first house was right on a main street. It was perfect through the dark woods, like the road was kind of through the woods, and I remember seeing the shattered pumpkin in the driveway, like it had been thrown from a moving car through the pumpkin. Now, my detective vulture eye immediately knew I started laughing, like, motherfucker, karma's a real thing coming back around. We used to do something called barrel bashing, where we'd go out with my buddy who was older than us in his fucking shitbox car, and we'd just run shit over. We'd bash through trash cans and it was just wrong to do, but we did it. That was crazy, I guess. I jumped off a 62-foot cliff. That's crazy. I could have died, or at least could have hurt myself. I've mentioned that before, but that's crazy. I dressed up as a uh like a a horror costume killer and walked around the floors of my freshman fucking building where I lived, and with another buddy that joined me and wore a fucking paper bag on his head, and he got caught because he ran off and the paper bag came off his head, so he got caught and then told that I was with him. Hmm. Thanks a lot, you fucking bitch. The two of us got written up. We didn't really necessarily, I mean, it wasn't a big deal. It was near Halloween. It was just to be we were just pulling a prank, you know, and this was like back in the early 90s. So, you know, is it is it a big deal that we're just fucking around scaring char scaring kids? I mean, obviously we're trying to scare girls more than guys. They were co-ed floors, and we would just walk up and down the hallways in the scary outfit. I guess I guess we both did have like weapons, we had hammers, so maybe they assumed it was real, but it wasn't real. That was crazy. I did that in high school with a buddy as well, where we we went to like hang out at a bomb fire, and there was a big fucking area of woods around the area we were in where the where the quarries are up in Gloucester. Gloucester! There are always some Gloucester! Fucking perfect storm fucking morts fucking tech rap. That's perfect storm backwards. I think storm mrats! Mrats tech rep. Oh it's another fucking hot one. It'll be a hot one. The old town tonight. I got a live one here. Batman. Good with movie lines, quotes. Maybe you haven't picked up on that. Maybe because you're fucking deaf. I apologize if anybody really is deaf. Obviously you wouldn't be listening to me. Although I'm signing right now what I'm doing. Oh. Can you hear it? What's the craziest thing you've ever done? Have you ever held up a fucking liquor store? Teasing, hopefully. Hopefully, people out there in Ek Showland don't say yes to that one. And if you did, I hope you grab some fucking Clark bars and whatchamacallits. Couple of fucking dilly dongs, huh? Oh, um, um, oh, that's hey, heck bool. It's a bold cop. What's the craziest thing you've ever done? Have you ever done have you ever been part of a fucking um have you ever been part of a coup? Were you part of the fucking insurrection? Were you ran into the fucking Capitol building? Or you ran from the Trump speech to the Capitol building? I don't want to joke too much about that, of course. I hear a phone right now. Oddly, I hear a phone. That's strange, cuz. Maybe it's my brain calling me. Fucking crazy. Craziest thing you've ever done. You ever done a B-52 where you fucking crawl up the fucking stall? You crawl up the bathroom stall, you anchor both your fucking legs so you're so the the little crevice under your knee, you you slot your one leg over one side of the top of the bathroom stall, and then the other leg over the other bathroom stall, and you drop a fucking rat bomb into the toilet from up high. It's called the B-52. I have not done that, but I know someone who has, and they did it in Maine. Here's a fucking there's a fucking character from fucking uh Annabelle that pulled up next to me. It literally is the fucking one of the ghosts. Just fucking white hair and fucking wilted face. Just fucking ready to fucking cast a fucking spell on me. Fucking turns my face into fucking putty. What's the craziest thing you've ever done? Have you ever done that? Barrel bashing? You just run through mailboxes and trash cans with your buddies and just drive through shit and hope not to get fucking arrested? I that happened when I was young, man. I wasn't driving, but it happened. Have you ever fucking played fucking scavenger hunt where you stole flags and hoses from people's houses or fucking lawn furniture and then went and set it up at your buddy's house? Set up a huge fucking. We did it one time to one of our buddies. We went around and we didn't steal it, right? But we went around and got a bunch of shit from the neighborhood that he lives in. And we put a big giant fucking like summer setting on his fucking lawn. And he his parents were fucking bullshit. And they made him take all the shit back to all the neighbors. It's fucking. I mean, obviously for us, it was absolutely hysterical. But for him, not only did he get in trouble with his parents, but he had to take it all back. And I'm sure the neighbors were fucking pissed. You know, he could say whatever he wants and blame them. Blame us. But, you know, they don't know us. We're not from the neighborhood. Not that that's good. That's not a good thing. This is all kid stuff, okay? This is Eek Show. This is Eek Show worthy. This is the Eek Show. You're listening to it. Walkies! Eek Show backwards, Jabba walkies, ho! Walkies. Yo, man! You hear that walkies show, man? Talking about the Eek Show? Walkies, God. Ooh, um, another power sip. Itay, fucking Yeti. Crazy shit. You're a daredevil? You ever go fucking over 125 on a motorcycle, a CBR 600? I have on fucking 95 North. If I hit a fucking small ladybug, which I wouldn't hit it, because I know it's good luck. I want that to last next time I'm at the casino. Zero double zero, boom! 35 to 1, as long as I bet each of them. If I split him, it's 17 to 1. And that line in the back, you can bet them there too if you can't reach. If you don't have plastic man arms. I'm gonna fucking bet both of them. The back line and write on the numbers. Double it up. 34 to 1. When you split them in both spots. You ever bet big? Take a chance? I bet $50 one time on Syracuse to win the national championship. The only time they've ever won it, and boom, after I win that bet, okay, I'm in Vegas to catch the ticket, like a month after the national championship. So it takes a month for the outcome of the bet, right? From the playing games, or they weren't even playing games when I bet it. It was so far back. But from the very first round of 64, which it used to be, to the final national championship game, that takes about three weeks. So I win the bet. I go to Vegas about a month after that to collect, because I made the bet in Vegas, and yes, that means that I was a fucking frequenter in Vegas, fucking Ink Vegas! Shit, man, here comes Eke Show in his gold fucking suit. Shit's made of actual gold. You gonna talk to him today, man? You gonna go up and say hello to him? Nah, I don't wanna I don't wanna fucking wrinkle his style. Maybe I'll just get some of the fucking air that he wafts toward me as he walks by. That's still glorified enough. Guy's a fucking legend. I take the fucking winnings, okay? I win $8.50 on a $50 bet. Cash! 8 fucking Benji's and a fucking 50 grant. Oh, haha, this is a little fucking pop rock. I take a grant and I put the grant, okay? I put the grant, half of it, on the fucking frogs. $25, split them down the middle, bam, $4.25, I let it ride. The next spin, back to back greens. Fucking tate them and parish. Bam again. So I just cashed an $850 ticket. Then I hit fucking greens back to back, $425 each. Another $850. $1,700 bones within the span of about fucking five minutes. Oh, here comes the 5-0, kid. Another 5-0 appearance on the Eek Show. It's coming over to the market basket. Yo, man, put your hands in here. Did you pay for that fucking pineapple?

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Oh shit, man. I was just I was trying to make some fucking Ma Ties for my family.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Fucking cops are everywhere, man. Fucking blasting their lights and their sirens. It's the craziest thing you've ever done. Oh wow, he really is coming in here. Hope he's not looking for me, man. Oh shit. Oh shit, kid. I'm gonna go check this one out. This is live! This is live coverage! There's some sort of accident going on. This is live coverage! There's a fucking policeman. Uh-oh. I don't know what's going on, man. Oh shit, kid. There might be a fucking fight that happened. This is real life. Oh, sorry. This is real life, kid. I don't know what's going on, man. But the fucking cop is looking down. There's a bunch of people. Fucking market basket battles! We're gonna go check it out, kid! This is live! Cutting edge fucking cutting edge recording! Market basket fucking pandemonium! There's a cop, everybody's everybody's rubbing at him. Oh shit, kid. There's a guy that fell down. It's one of the workers. It's one of the fucking workers. He's got his fucking orange vest on. I hope he's alright. This is live coverage. Fucking. I hope he's alright though. This is not to be funny, but it is live. Live market basket coverage of a scene with a 5-0. Someone's fallen down, I think. He's got his fucking orange vest on so everybody can see him in the perfect fucking bright sky of the morning. He's down. Maybe he tried to push too many. Maybe he's I don't know what he's doing, man. Maybe he tried to push too many fucking carts at once. And right here, here's another fucking. Here's another fucking. Jesus Christ, that's a fucking old bat. I can see him right through the cars, man. They're checking on him. Maybe he's on maybe he OD'd, kid. He might have OD'd. He might have OD'd, kid. Too many fucking barbituents. Anyways, I'm going back to my spot. I gotta get some fucking fruit for a fruit salad. What's the craziest thing you've ever done, man? Have you ever done anything so crazy that you you wish you could take it back? I mean, I have not, right? None of the stuff I've done has ever been bad. Nothing like that. You know, all kinds of shit. I know a crazy one I did in college. I had to drink a fucking half a bottle of soco with my buddy during Hell Week when I was pledging. I'm sweating like a fucking side of a pool. God. In pledge week I had to drink this sweat all over my door, man. You could just fucking make this into a nice iced tea. Call it fucking sweat tea. Yo, you try that new fucking Each Joe sweat tea? Don't you mean fucking sweet tea? No, no, it's fucking sweat tea. Each Joe makes it with his own sweat. He lets the sweat leak into the fucking lemons and the tea bags. Guy doesn't even use water. He just uses full sweat. It's just persper perspiration. Isn't it anti-perspiration? I'm not talking about fucking deodorant. I'm talking about iced tea made with sweat. Eek shows sweat tea. Isn't it fucking sweet tea? I told you it's fucking sweat tea! I'll tell you what, the guy over there could use a glass of fucking sweat tea. There's a guy that's in a truck and he pulled up like right in front of him, like, hey asshole! Don't fucking park there. There's a guy down on the ground needing help. You gotta love fucking pedestrians. Just idiots. This guy just pulls right in where he is. So he doesn't have to rubberneck. He just wants to go over and be part of the fucking shit that's going on. And of course now you're just standing there staring at him. You don't know him, man. Fucking dink. Oh, here comes another one. Here comes the ambulance! This is live! Listen! Listen! That's live! This is Eek Show live. That's an ambulance coming. Hear it. Here it comes. Now, is that coming for this the what's going on here at Market Basket? Or are they coming to fucking be a special guest on the Eek Show? You gotta guess which one it is. Did I call the fucking ambulance to come be a fucking a guest on the Eek Show? My first guest ever. What's the craziest thing you ever done? One of the craziest things I've ever done is live fucking taped the Eek Show while there is an altercation fucking situation going on at a grocery store called Market Basket. And everybody was fucking, oh man, what's going on? I can't believe it. I got a fucking couple old couple behind me that's you know how to open their trunk. Oh, this is the Eekshow. Have an excellent week. Eekshow.show is the Instagram where you can find all the fucking episodes that are up and coming. Info at eekshow.show is where you can find me. I'm sweating like a fucking hog. Try some fucking Eekshow sweat tea. You'll see it at your local store soon enough. Another fucking business booming. End of summer booming business. We'll talk to you soon. This is the Eekshow. This is a special announcement. All of you out there in Ekshow Land, you'd be glad to know that the beggar, who also does carriages outside of the grocery store in actually southeastern Massachusetts, did not sustain any full-time, long-time, or permanent damages. It was said that he extraneously tried to push too many shopping carts at one time. He was an overachiever. His name was Victor. Victor actually talked to the paramedics at the scene well after everything had finally calmed down. It was hot that day. I felt so hot. I really felt lightheaded. I felt and was able to protect my head. But I did want to say thank you to all of those people that called the ambulance and police officers. And since I have this chance, I wanted to say I really, really love the Eekshow. That new podcast carries me through every day. And I just can't wait to get back and hydrated so I can listen to his new episode. There you have it.