SPEAKER_00 0:14

It's the eag show.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Here we go. It's the eagle. Back to school, man. Melon! Put your suit on! We need ya! Melon! You know what, Kirk Vonnegut?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

You read lips! Fuck you! Oh fucking back to school, man! Back to school! Yes, I will go back to school! Fucking Billy Madison! Just dropped off the fucking kid for fucking back to school, fucking school, soccer, fucking all kinds of events, first day! All the girls are dressed up like Dolly's for fucking Dolly Parton! R.I.P. Dolly Parton, by the way. Working 925. What a way to make a living! Got that fucking morning voice, huh?

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Sraspy. Back to school, bitch!

SPEAKER_01 1:55

I just dropped her off. She's getting her shit from the back. I see her go in. Love you. Good luck. I as I pull out, there's a guy who just dropped off one of his kids, and he's like hanging on the front of his car, like just in front of the headlights, smoking a butt right in front of the school. I mean, what the fuck? He looks like, I mean, it had to be a dad. I mean, it wasn't he wasn't dressed like a janitor. You figure maybe a janitor might do that. But what this is fucking, I don't know, man. It's just, I just, in this day and age, you just don't expect to see it. I mean, I guess I love to see it, you know. Everybody says love to see it too much. Like they're fucking cool people. Love to see it. All the posts on LinkedIn. Yo, this person, yo, I just get I just get promoted into my new job and a director of product management in the fucking douchebag, fucking clean cut, B-hole, fucking, you know, agency, HR people. Love to see it. Get the fuck out of here, man. Not cool, you're not cool, you're not savvy, you're not a fucking business tycoon. You're in total dink. Love to see it! Although I did love to see the fucking dad smoking a fucking jack out front of the school in front of his fucking fucking Zion fucking 6.0. Actually, I think it was a fucking Toyota fucking Corolla. Looked like it had been fucking someone dumped paint on it. Looked like he was smoking a fucking Marlboro light cat. Yo, what are those Marlb lights? That's a gold pack, right, man? Yeah, man. I've been smoking since I was like fucking 12, man. Even though my daughter's going to school, I'm gonna still sit out front and smoke a butt. Really make a good impression on all the fucking teachers about my kid, man. Hey man, I get it. You got a fucking addiction, huh? Nikki, huh? Little fucking logic song, Nikki. Every time I need you, I want you to be near me, nickn nik Nikki. Nikki. That's not how bad he raps. He's actually a good rapper. That didn't do him any justice. Back to school, man. Do you remember your first day back to school back when you were a fucking little peanut? Fifth grade.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

You coming? Yeah, man, hold on.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

I just got some gum.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

You got any more gum?

SPEAKER_02 5:25

Yo man, each show's back! Kids got that fucking rocket ship backpack! Holy shit, man. I've always wanted one of those. It's got like actual smoke and fire coming from the bottom of it. Kid's a fucking rocket!

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Eekshow! All the fifth grade girls in their fucking first day outfits and dresses. Eekshow! Eekshow's back! I had a fucking red carpet laying down for me out front.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Prince was like, uh, I like we have a thousand kids at this school, but there's only one that gets the red carpet.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

I'd like to welcome Eekshow back to fifth grade. I start doing the fucking the fucking uh the uh uh it's like the fucking gritty running man, it's like a combo. The gritty didn't even exist yet, but eek show was doing it.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

What eek show back the gritty, do the gritty, the gritty catch, give us the candy, how about some dinosaurs eggs? A nice pearl eggs, even though I'm in the fucking fit bake cake. That's how each show do can Eekshow Eekshaw Yeah Eekshow gritty back in fucking 1988.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

No um man fucking school was fucking hilarious, man. School was just the best you know I I realized it during it. I really did. I just fucking enjoyed every second of it. The jokes, the fucking pranks, the the highs, the lows, oh the middles, the rights, the left, the fucking upside downs. Upside down. It's from fucking Major League 2 when he's trying to do the uh speed stick commercial. A phy phylactical philifical femination. Phony nepherol, photinoral, phylactical femination. Stop phony, bitch! Oh, the fucking ghoul just staring at me. Fucking holy god, it was a fucking dark fucking witch that just stared at me out her window. She wasn't spooky ro rah, but she was fucking she was a fucking devilish bitch. I'm just teasing, I don't mean it, I don't know the person. I'm just fucking doing audio podcast commentary on the spot! I think there was a club in Syracuse, New York when I went to school there called The Spot. I honestly remember that. I remember there was some guys in one of the fraternities my buddy was in, and like they would go, you going to the spot, man? Ew my this might be a fucking legit dilly donger. Oh my dilly donger alert. There's a fucking uh the climbing course that could do that on I could do that fucking while I'm in a handstand. Fucking oh each show is doing the fucking climb course on his hands! We're legend back to school man that was a fun time when you were a kid. You remember that shit? Yes, I will go back to school. Oh I can and I will what a fucking fun time that was man back to school oh seeing that guy smoking a butt in front of the school, man, as a parent that just dropped off their kid is just legendary. I just I wanna fucking meet the kid. Imagine the kids like got fucking cartons of cigarettes in in his or her backpack. I don't think I saw if it was a boy or a girl. That part I didn't see. Oh man, what a fucking I'm gonna drop off my fucking kid tomorrow and just fucking huff on a crack pipe up front. Yo, man, some fucking some dad smoking crack out front. What a fucking what a madman. Yo, I think that's eek show, man. That's not crack, that's like fucking adrenaline. Guy free bases adrenaline in the morning before he does his show. I'm kidding. I've never done drugs, I wouldn't do drugs, I wouldn't smoke crack in front of my fucking child's school. I also don't need fucking droves of fans fucking rushing me. He's back!

SPEAKER_02 11:03

The last time I saw him was fifth grade. Oh my god, he's such a legend. He's back!

SPEAKER_01 11:10

I'm just a fucking dad and people are still rushing me fucking all ages. Fucking Eek showed off. First day of school, man. Do you fucking like kind of do that fucking jittery walk, fucking kick dance on the way in through the doors, smash your head against the fucking top of the metal door, get a big fucking welt on your head? Ew man, that was a fucking honey nerd eek skins. Oh man. Hopefully you enjoyed those episodes, man. I always drop some stuff about the past in case I get loyal listeners. All fucking four of you. Fucking dilly dong alert. Dilly dong's everywhere, man. I'm gonna get some of those powdered donuts and just start throwing them at people. What the fuck you doing, man? It's fucking dilly dong alert! Powdered donuts, huh? Love those little powdered donuts. My parents used to get those sometimes before my brother and I. We'd eat those before school and just be fucking Mexican jumping beans into the school. It's fucking just sugar rush. Oh, and then I'd crash and bash my fucking chin on the fucking chalk holder. Oh, look at her. Back to school, man. Great movie, great time of year, the fall, the crisp apple air setting in. Look at this fucking Mercedes Jouge. Hey douche! Oh, we have spooky Rora when you need her. Or him or it. She would have fucking sucked that car right into her fucking void. Back to school, man. It's always a great fucking moment, right? Every year you document it. I don't know what you all do out there in Eek Showland, but do you take pictures? Do you sign things? Do you document the moment? Do you do you have a tradition you do the first day, the last day, the end of the day? Are your kids in sports, not in sports? The cool thing for me now as a family with my child is I've noticed the transition is really smooth. It doesn't seem like there's there's been a gap of time. It doesn't seem like summer like locked us away from the routine of school at all because she's been there so much because of sports and all kinds of stuff. Student government, like Stuco, student council, like all this stuff that puts you in the school. We've been there so much, like dropping her off was, you know, I might as well get out and smoke a butt. I was that comfortable, man. I should have fucking, yo man, you got another fucking, you got another spliff, man. Yeah, man, I've been smoking since I was 12. Here's a fucking, here's a fucking uh, here's a jack for you. I would have fucking just huffed one there with him. I'm not even a smoker, just fucking old school. A couple guys just hang out in front of school smoking the butt's. I do find it very odd that he was smoking a fucking butt on the first day of school, standing in front of his fucking headlights after dropping off his kid. I mean, that is just fucking bold. That's fucking bold move. And by bold I mean complete fucking buffoonery, jackass fucking scumbag. You know what I mean? Like, what the fuck? Get out, I mean, minimally get out of the fucking school lot and pull over in a fucking dirt side of the road near the woods and smoke a butt if you're that if you need one that much as a fix. Or if whatever. I mean, smoke one in the car and fucking have the window down once you're out of the parking lot. I guess I I that's pure comedy to me. That's fucking ek show worthy. I mean, why I mean half the episode already is about that, and it should be. I wish I had I knew the guy's name, fucking fucking Marl, last name, Burrow. Um do you know Marl man? Guys fucking plays third base, yeah. Oh yeah, Marl Burrow? Guy plays third base and smokes fucking cigarettes while he fields, man. He he he smokes at the fucking plate when he bats. Guy puts fucking nicotine pouches in his fucking helmet. Marl Burrow, man? Marlowe was uh he never played any sports, man. The guy couldn't even run a lap without fucking falling down. He's got fucking lung disease, man. You sure you're thinking of the right guy? That's fucking so stupid. What did you do in school when you got back to school? Did you fucking organize all your shit, your fucking trappic keeper, your fucking pencil holders, your fucking rubber erasers? Did you bring your little bottle of fucking white out? Yo, it's a fucking white out there, man. It's a white out. Are you talking about the fucking, you know, the fixer in school? You're talking about snow. Shut the fuck up, man. Did you bring your fucking sips, juice boxes? Oh, I love those fucking full-size powdered donuts in the fucking cafeteria, man. I'd I'd stop in there anytime I had a free period once I was in high school. Past my freshman year. Freshman year is like, oh, it's a new, you know, you're the frosh, it's like a new experience. You get settled in for sure after about a week. But once you're a sophomore, junior, senior, you just day one, you're right back into the flow of things. And if you play a sport, which you know I did and and and my daughter does, you you just flow right in because you're at the school all the fucking time. Football, holy shit, football, senior year. I I was at the high school like from late July through fucking Labor Day before we even went back. It's like I was already fucking living at the school, man. Oh, but those fucking powdered donuts, man. The big ones, not the mini ones, not the hostess mini powdered donuts. I think I could eat fucking 50 of those in one sitting, man. No fucking milk, no water. I got so much kind of triggering my I can't even talk.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

It's a fucking Ichho, have some fucking milk, man.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

You're gonna fucking suffocate. Give me, give me another donut. The powdered ones are the big ones. Oh man, I fucking I would anytime I had lounge, they were like a fucking quarter, too. 25 cents for a full in-plastic wrap powdered donut. And I'll tell you why I like the plastic wrap part instead of the box. Because in the box, sometimes the conditions aren't perfect. It gets too hot and and they start to sweat, and the and some of the donuts don't retain their powdered sugar. It's like it chips off or it peels off when you take one away from the other donut that it's next to. No, I want the one in the plastic pack where the temperature's controlled, and the the entire donut is fucking fully covered, perfectly laced with that powdered sugar fucking just euphoric fucking dream. Oh, and you take a bite and the dust blows up. It's like you're fucking LeBron James eating a donut, but you're not a total fucking knobhead that doesn't know how to speak with a mic in front of you. No sorry, LeBron. Obviously you're fucking outstanding basketball player all time, but and the best thing you could have done for your entire career is not fucking open your mouth, man. Say nothing. Just be great at your sport, be a fucking legend and don't talk. That would have been the best all time. Here comes fucking Knight of the Living Dead. This woman walking, it looks like she's got sneakers on that are like fucking two to three sizes too big for her. She can barely move her feet. I can see like this space between the back of her foot and her heel and the shoe, and they're like they're like way too big on her. It's like she's wearing s she's a size six and she's wearing eights. Jesus Christ. Now you live again. Classic. Good stuff, man. Good stuff. This is the Eekshow.show. Uh, back to school. Welcome back to all your fucking families and kids. Obviously, I'm just having fun. Oh, here it goes. Oh, sneeze season is back. Back of my throat and the one of the vertebrae in my neck just snapped. Welcome back to fucking allergy season, kid. Oh yeah. Umgratulations to all your families, all your kids. Of course, I'm just having fun. Uh everything I did say in that episode was true, though. Oh, here she comes. 6'8, kid. She's fucking got six feet and wears eight fucking shoes. Night of the living dead walk. Eekshow.show, info at eekshow.show. You know the rest. Uh, the one thing, now that you're back in school, you have your kids, or if you have kids that are below 18 or 18 back in school, start up your own routine, right? Kids get in this routine. It's such a you know a functional routine that school brings to your life, especially if you're in sports as well. Start up your own routine, you know what I mean? Start going to the gym, start fucking running again, start um, you know, whatever it is, practicing something you want to get good at. Work it into your day. Work's important, but it's never the only thing, man. You gotta have a fucking well-rounded, healthy, fucking fun lifestyle, and that makes everything better. So that's my one thing. Get back in a routine since our kids are back in a routine, or if you are a routinistic person anyways, well then fucking good job. Bodge Duke. So that's fucking good job backwards. Bodge Duke. Yo, man, you you really bodge Duke, man. This is the Eek Show. I'll talk to you soon. Have a great week.