SPEAKER_01 0:00

Friday nights, sometimes after bonus episodes, you never know what you're gonna get on each show. Welcome to the Eat Show. I stopped off and got myself a little snack, huh? The girls were like, um, my daughter and her friend are they're working some casino night for their soccer club. Getting paid, God. Twenty bucks an hour. So I pick them a couple uh eight-piece nuggets from fucking chick for Lizzy, God. A couple Dr. Pizzies and Coke Zizzies. And some French frizzies. You know what I did? I figured I'm there. I mean, I'm already fucking there in the drive-thru. I mean, fuck. I'm a dad. It's fucking Friday night. I just got paid. Oh, a little fucking Coke Z right here? Fresh and fruity. You know some of the soda sometimes like overspills under the top of the plastic? Oh I'm not gonna waste that. I gotta fucking that little fresh fucking Coke Z, kid. So I fucking got myself a fucking Chick-fil-A sandwich, and you know why? Cause they asked me if I wanted to take a fucking survey and vote for some fucking charity in fucking Buffalo. Ooh. I just bought fucking two sandwiches. One went in, the second one's coming out to fucking Eek Show land. Ooh. Welcome to the fucking carry dome. So I fucking voted for some teacher fucking charity and got a free fucking Chick-fil-A sandwich. Like, fuck yeah. Eek? Oh, wait a minute. Is that fucking Eek Show pulling up in the drive-thru? Give him fucking Eddie whatever he needs, man. Give him give him fucking equipment. Give him one of the fucking industrial fucking bags of fucking frozen fucking Chick-fil-A patties. Guy's a fucking. Guy's just a fucking magic maker. Give him whatever he wants. I didn't take it. I abstained. I literally see two fucking UFOs right now. A hundred percent. Two bright lights in the sky coming at me. They're dead centered together. There's no way they could be planes. They're like two perfectly aligned. I'm witnessing a double UFO right now! Dude, that is fucking very crazy. They're definitely moving. They're not fucking. They're not parking lot lights, yeah! You're not gonna get any of my Coke Zero, fucking alien bitches! So I get the Chick-fil-A sandwich, I go deliver their food, I fucking I mean, lickety split, snap crackle, fucking gone, pop! I eat the Chick-fil-A sandwich. Nope, not a UFO, it's a plane. I can see it. Inkshow thought he had a fucking X-File sighting. Oh, uh. Just a plane. False alert. I fucking crushed the fucking Chick-fil-A sandwich. I dropped their food off. Friday night! Oh fucking by my lonesome. I've got another hour to kill. I'm like just cranking fucking legit tunes. Awesome fucking hip hop, some old school fucking folk, rock and roll, fucking some jazz, just a mix of fucking delightful fucking tunes. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna fucking run it back and pop up with Mickey D's. Ba da papa, eek shawl. I'm gonna fucking pop by Mickey D's. I opened the app. I've been to Mickey D's twice this year, and both times I got like four double cheeseburgers, two fries, like three McNuggets, and a fucking large soda. Both times. So it gave me whatever it said. So I got a fucking free f medium fry. They don't let you do two deals at once on the app, so you gotta keep ordering. That's fucking dog shit. I could have got everything for free, but I didn't complain. I got myself a fucking medium coke Z for $1.69, a free French fry, medium, one cheeseburger, and a four-piece McNugget. Total cost? $7. Now, I don't think that's a lot. Obviously, seven bucks back in the day. I think you can get a fucking 20-piece spicy chick fucking nugget. I can't even say it. It's because I'm stuck between Chick-fil-A and McDonald's. Like both styles of orders are in my fucking brenium. Crenium! The Crumenium! So I got a fucking four-piece of fucking chicken chicken McNugget. Fucking medium fry, a coke zizzle. Fucking just perfectly iced. I fucking scarf down the fries as I'm driving back to the parking lot, and I now sit fucking seawall. What's seawall? That's Lowe's backwards. It's fucking just it's funny. I'm not the only one doing this. You think on a Friday night you just pull into a lot and just fucking record the Eek Show? You rip a fucking cheeseburger, four-piece McNugget. I mean, four McNuggets is kind of a fucking joke. Honestly. That's like you go to Dairy Queen and you ask for like you know a a tablespoon of fucking sauce serve. You know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna need at least 20 tablespoons. I mean, I just ate those four nuggets, the cheeseburger and the fries, as if I was inhaling one drag of a cigarette. You know what I mean? But the Coke Z, it just fucking fit it right. It just fucking completed the fucking salty fucking deliciousness of fucking nightcap food intake. Every little you know that every little ice movement is like fucking, it's like a fucking wind chime in the back. You live in the fucking in an oasis on the fucking beach, and you hear that? That's the fucking Mickey D's coca Zizzle ice right now, man. Oh yeah. So I thought I recorded. You know? I ate it so fast, I wanted to get the fucking terror like button on the fucking fucking live bag craft. It's a masterful art piece. Doesn't make a mess. Just legendary moves. So now here I sit and I watch fucking serial killers come in and out. You know? It looks like they come in. Maybe they're like dropping off fucking bones or you know, melted fucking body fat.

unknown 10:54

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

I'm not the only one that's pulled in here randomly. You know what I mean? You think you do this when you're younger, you're like, you would never do this. You're always out and about and doing everything. It's a Friday night for me. It's been a busy day. I mean, my responsibility is to my fucking daughter. Ooh, and and it's to fucking bottle my fucking burp cologne. Yo, Ikho! You you gonna fucking bottle your burps for a new cologne? Call it fucking e-kerp? You try the e-kerp, man? It's got the random thing about e-kerp is it just it's got a different smell every time I use it. Yeah, man, that's because he he fucking bottles it different after different meals. You know, sometimes it's fast food, other times it's home cooked meals, other times it's fucking honey nut eek skins. What about eek chip chili, bitch? There's one truck I can see right now, it's got that like extra hatchback on it. There's no question right now that that truck, it's white, it's like parked against the woods way in the back of the fucking Lowe's parking lot. I have no doubt there's a fucking human body in the back.

unknown 12:14

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

But I enjoyed my burger and my fucking nuggets, cat. The fries are fucking perfectly salted. And I thought I'd share a quick fucking Friday night special for each show. I hope you're all having a great Friday night. Uh, you know, and you're fucking when you get older, sometimes this is all there is. And if you're doing a whole lot more than me, then you're probably not doing a whole lot of parenting. That is a UFO!

SPEAKER_03 12:57

Holy shit!

SPEAKER_01 12:59

What time is it? 836 UFO! This is the e show! Happy Friday night. That's a fucking UFO, dude. Holy c